Laughable Laws

Published on HamptonRoads.com | PilotOnline.com (http://hamptonroads.com)

It's the law but it will make you laugh

Many new laws took effect across the nation July 1.

Some older ones were taken off the books.

But a number of archaic, obscure and downright weird laws are staying right where they are. Some are exactly what officials wanted.

As for others, many aren't enforced anyhow, so getting rid of them is more trouble than it's worth.

Virginia state laws

• In many counties, no one may be a professional fortuneteller, and if one wishes to pursue the practice as an amateur, it must be practiced in a school or church.


• You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry.


• If one is not married, it is illegal for one to have sexual relations.


• No animal may be hunted on Sundays with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2 a.m.

Va. city, county laws

Frederick

• A special license is required for a person wishing to sell such items as tableware and coins.

Prince William County

• No person may keep a skunk as a pet.


• It is illegal to cuss about another.


• It is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks.

Virginia Beach

• It is unlawful to carry certain canes or walking sticks.


• It is illegal to use profanity on Atlantic Avenue or the boardwalk.


• It is also unlawful to drive by the same place within 30 minutes on Atlantic Avenue.

Virginia laws off the books

Virginia laws changed this year:

• Legislators did away with one that prohibited restaurants from serving drinks that mix wine or beer with liquor. Now, restaurants can serve sangria - which usually includes wine, fruit, brandy and triple sec - without fear of prosecution.


• Another law protected men who sexually attack girls 14 to 16 from criminal charges as long as they offer to marry the victim. Legislators closed this "marriage offer" loophole.


• Also voided were laws that required sexual assault victims to take a lie detector test and to agree to prosecute the attacker before the state pays for a forensic medical examination.

N.C. city, county laws

Dunn

• No one may visit departed loved ones late at night.


• People may not drive their cars on sidewalks.


• People may not throw rocks at the street.


• No one may spit on the street.

Greensboro

• It is unlawful to keep or operate any peanut or popcorn stand or roaster on or in any street or sidewalk of the city.

Kill Devil Hills

• You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handlebars.

Rowan County

• All female dogs and cats in heat must be confined.

Rutherford County

• A person will be charged with a misdemeanor for leaving a taxicab and not paying within 15 minutes.

Zebulon

• No one may stand outside the police station for any purpose after dark.


• No person may walk on top of the water tank of the city.

N.C. state laws

• People in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them.


• Organizations may not hold their meetings while the members present are in costume.


• Bingo games may not last more than five hours unless held at a fair.

Laws in other U.S. states

Alaska

• It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

California

• It's illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.


• Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school or place of worship.


• It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Illinois

• It is illegal to speak English; American is the officially recognized language.

Iowa

• Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

Louisiana

• It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol.

Massachusetts

• 1 percent of construction costs of prisons must be spent on art, up to a maximum of $100,000.

South Dakota

• It's illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Texas

• It is illegal to carry a concealed ice-cream cone.

Utah

• It is a crime to curse on a bus.


• Discriminating unfairly in the purchase of milk, cream or butterfat is a crime.


• Prosecutors can seek death for anyone who kills an on-duty poultry inspector.


• A drive-by shooting could get you five years in jail and a $5,000 fine, but you could spend 15 years in prison and pay $10,000 for altering the license plate stickers on your car.


• You must yield to birds while driving on the highway.


• Parents can give written permission to teachers to spank their children. Even though all 40 school districts prohibit corporal punishment by policy, legislators have declined to repeal the law.


• First cousins may marry, but only if they are beyond child-bearing years.


• It is slander - punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine - to falsely accuse a female of being unchaste.


• Raffles are defined in the law as illegal lotteries. But this particular form of gambling is routinely used by nonprofit organizations and charities to raise money.


• Nightclubs may be licensed to serve alcoholic beverages only if they promise they are a real club or association, and not a business out to make a profit. Apparently, lying is not a crime.

Laws in U.S. cities, towns

Globe, Ariz.

• It's illegal to play cards with an American Indian.

Tucson, Ariz.

• It is illegal for women to wear pants.

California cities

• In San Jose, one may not sleep in an outhouse without the owner's permission.


• It is illegal in Los Angeles for anyone to send a complaint through the mail saying that a hotel has cockroaches.


• A Tahoe City law prohibits horses from wearing cowbells.


• Roosters are forbidden to crow within the city limits of Ontario.


• In Carmel, women may not take baths in a business office.

New Britain, Conn.

• Fire trucks must travel at a speed of 25 mph, even when going to a fire.

Tallahassee, Fla.

• One may have sexual relations with a porcupine.

Illinois cities

• It's illegal to fish in your pajamas in Chicago.


• In Cicero, you may not hum on public streets on Sundays.


• In Joliet, you may be fined up to $5 for pronouncing the city's name "Jollyet."


• In Zion, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats and other pets.

Gary, Ind.

• People are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.

Clawson, Mich.

• It is legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats and chickens.

St. Louis

• It is illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.

Lehigh, Neb.

• It is illegal to sell doughnut holes.

New York

• You may not throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

Baltimore

• It is illegal to take a lion to the theater.

Eugene, Ore.

• No person shall park or tether a horse in a public way or street.


• None of the listed animals - baby chicks, ducklings, goslings or rabbit - that have been dyed or otherwise colored artificially may be sold, raffled, displayed in a shop or given as a prize.


• No person shall camp in or upon any sidewalk, street, alley, lane, public right of way or park, under a bridge or on any other publicly owned property.


• No person shall carry or haul garbage on a street or sidewalk exposed so as to be offensive to pedestrians.

Federal laws

• It's a crime to imitate Smokey Bear or Woodsy the Owl.


• It is illegal to carry a set of wooden teeth across state lines if you're not a dentist.

Sources: www.helium.com; [1] www.municode.com; [2] The Atlanta Journal-Constitution; Oregon Daily Emerald; The San Diego Union-Tribune; The Salt Lake Tribune (Utah); The Associated Press; www. dumblaws.com.

Pilot news researcher Maureen Watts contributed to this report.

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Source URL (retrieved on 01/01/2009 - 11:41): http://hamptonroads.com/2008/07/its-law-it-will-make-you-laugh

Links:
[1] http://www.helium.com;

[2] http://www.municode.com;